My Wish For You

"I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big"

-"My Wish" by Rascal Flatts

Sorry I haven't written in a while. For this one I decided to change it up, so instead of using a poem I decided to go with song lyrics.

I recently received a birthday card from my mom and when I opened it up this song played. As I sat there reading the card I realized how relivent this song is to my life and all of the situations going on in my life and even more so what is going through my head. As some of you know these past two weeks have been extremely tiring physically and even more so emotionally. There are so many things that I want to say to people that only this song can put into words. it's funny looking back on my life and realizing what a fool I was for falling for the same stuff over and over again. I need to just realize that nothing is as good as it seems at the time because it just ends up biting you in the ass and I end up getting hurt time after time. But looking back it was good for the time being and once they move on is when this song comes into play. If you have ever meant anything to me this song represents the wish that I have for you, that you live your life to the fullest and never settle for anything less then what you deserve. You have to look at it and see if it is worth going through the pain that you felt before.

My Pledge To You

"I don't know how to explain it
or how to make you see
how much I care for you
or how much you mean to me

when you wrap your arms around me
for a simple, gentle hug
I want to stay in that moment forever
and tell you how much you are loved

when we come close enough
together our lips touch .....a kiss
nothing around me seems to matter
cause there is nothing sweeter than this

when you feel scared or alone
all I want is to hold you tight
be there comforting you
telling you everything will be all right

when I look into your eyes
I suddenly can't think or see
I just get wrapped up in you
and forget to even breath

see I don't know why
but you take my breath away
and it seems like I am missing
you more and more each day

when my days get lonely
and I start to feel really blue
I can see that comforting smile
that belongs to only you

I can promise you this..
if you and me ever say it's "through"
I will still keep the love inside
and I'll always think of you

see no words can express it
I know what I feel is true
I can't figure out what it is
there is definately something special about you "

The past couple of weeks have been amazing babe. You mean a lot to me and there isn't a thing in this world I wouldn't do for you. I know this is really cheesy but I needed to say this somehow. The first day I met you I knew there was something special about you and I was right. I really wish I was perfect for you but I'm not, I really wish I could be the hot stud that you can show off to your girlfriends but I'm not. I am who I am and I hope you can accept me for who I am.

Captivating Eyes

"Those beautiful eyes
Watching every move I make
It is a chance I have to take
I have to tell you
How I really feel
I have to tell you
Your eyes make me melt
I have to let you know
Even when you're kind of sad
Your eyes have a beautiful glow
One that no one else has had
There's nothing I wouldn't do
Just to hear you say
That you like me
Because I hope you that you do
I'm willing to wait
Until you think it's okay
It's something I anticipate
Even though I realize I may never get my way"

What is it about me that makes me such a sucker for eyes? maybe its because the eyes are a gateway to someones soul. when you look into someones eyes you can tell alot about a person... how they are feeling, if something is wrong, if they are lying or telling the truth. so much can be deciphered through their eyes. every time i look into her eyes i melt, i see sincerity, i see someone that is close to my heart, someone i care about and someone who overall enjoys life, has no regrets and lives each say to the fullest, i see no fault, i see perfection.

Gazing Upon Beauty

"I was staring at the midnight sky
Star gazing
I realized life and space is really
Amazing
overall breathless with universal
Devastation
Tonight it’s a simply sky
But it will keep changing
Letting my mind grow beyond further horizons
Looking at constellations from Virgo to Orion
Shooting stars and burning galaxies
This universe isn’t filled with fallacies
It’s filled with nitrogen and hydrogen gas
Expanding it is, but how long will it last
We love to stare at it endlessly
But do we really appreciate its beauty"

The past couple have nights have been some of the best i have had in a while. if you didnt know the Orion meteor shower has shown its self in full force and will until the 27th of October. The reason it has been so great was the presence of beauty that has surrounded me the past couple of nights. Gazing at stars is so relaxing and when you add blankets, great friends, good conversation and especially the one you care about just equals a great night and one you cant not enjoy. when laying there i look up and see a beautiful sky full of endless wonder, i look to my left and see beauty in the one that i care about. watching the meteor shower the past couple of nights has really put things into perspective for me. we are just one small planet in a sky full of trillions of others, it also makes me thankful that i was put on this planet and not some single celled organizm on a plant far far away.

Disappointment

"Tell me, did I disappoint you today;
Living life, going my way?
Did I crush any more of your dreams last night;
When you brought me the pizza, and I refused to take a bite?
How many times did I make you wish I was never born;
When I screamed at you to leave me alone?
How did you cope yesterday, when I told you I wanted to live;
That I had my share of take, in the middle of all this "give"?
How many times do you tell yourself you know me,
Knowing all the time, that the truth is, you don't want to see?
I wish you could know how sad I am,knocking away your dream,
Living in a different world, a dark intense realm.
But I can't get out, I'm sorry, I tried.
But the pain just stays by my side.
I wish you would believe in me, accept me and move on,
Before I can't take any more of the pain, and I'm gone."

Disappointment has been a staple in my life lately and for most of my life for that matter. It really starts with my father leaving me and my family. but disappointment can steam from a lot more then just that, it could be the girl you liked that only saw you as a friend or not getting into the college of your choice. we have all experienced these types of disappointment but when it really comes down to it, its all about how we react to it. i know that personally i dont take disappointment well. i have suffered through depression and anxiety and still do, im human it happens. but a couple years ago it got really bad and i took it a step to far. i attempted to commit suicide 3 times, and its because those attempts failed that i am writing this now. i believe that God has given me a second, third and even fourth chance at life. lately i have been experiencing more and more disappointment in my life. most of this comes from just being disappointed with myself which is never a good situation.

Friendship

"Another day is passing
And still there is no word
On how your life is going
And who is in your world

I pray you will consider
These words I write to you
I liked you in my life
Yet maybe now it's through

I don't want to see
our relationship come to an end
And I don't want to find
our lives standing still

We are moving towards the end
And we really ought to wait
Because God planted something special
Deep within our hearts

I know your life is hectic
You are busy all day through
My life is busy also
But I still think of you

I want to send my love
And remind you of these things
Just so you will know
You mean so much to me"

Friendship is one of the biggest and scariest roller coasters you will ever ride. It has a huge hill to climb at first and when you get to the top there is a sudden drop to a smaller hill. Much like roller coasters friendships are ups and downs with twists and turns through out and at one point its over. If being in college has taught me one thing it's to find the people that are positive and help you better yourself and vice versa. Friendship is an essential to any college student but the only way to succeed is to choose your friends wisely and sometimes that means getting rid of a few.

College as i have learned can break friendships also, being so far away from home its hard to keep up with them and has broken many of my friendships. The important thing to remember is you are never alone, someone will always have your back and be there for you.

Couldn't Sleep

"DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP;
I AM NOT THERE. I DO NOT SLEEP.
I AM A THOUSAND WINDS THAT BLOW.
I AM THE DIAMOND GLINTS IN THE SNOW.
I AM THE SUNLIGHT ON RIPENED GRAIN.
I AM THE GENTLE AUTUMN RAIN.
WHEN YOU AWAKEN IN THE MORNING'S HUSH
I AM THE SWIFT UPLIFTING RUSH
OF QUIET BIRDS IN CIRCLED FLIGHT.
I AM THE SOFT STARS THAT SHINE AT NIGHT.
DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND CRY;
I AM NOT HERE. I DID NOT DIE."

This poem has been going through my head for the past day or so and i don't really know why. I guess through all the highs and lows through my life and especially lately has just made me think a lot. life can be so shitty one day but be amazing the next or in some cases even hour to hour, the littlest thing can set it off. i feel that most of us take each day for granted (me included) but each day is a gift from God and we should live each day as our last. we all need to focus on what is important an that is to love and care for those around us because you never want someone to have a bad memory of you when you are gone. treat each person as you would want to be treated, treat each person with respect and dignity.

Being a sophomore in college has really changed my perspective on life. i realized that its time to figure out what i really want to do with my life and that its time to figure out goals to set for myself and start a plan to achieve those goals.. you also start to realize who your true friends are and you start to push out the ones that are not a positive influence in your life and who will not help you lead the life that you strive for.