"Those beautiful eyes
Watching every move I make
It is a chance I have to take
I have to tell you
How I really feel
I have to tell you
Your eyes make me melt
I have to let you know
Even when you're kind of sad
Your eyes have a beautiful glow
One that no one else has had
There's nothing I wouldn't do
Just to hear you say
That you like me
Because I hope you that you do
I'm willing to wait
Until you think it's okay
It's something I anticipate
Even though I realize I may never get my way"
What is it about me that makes me such a sucker for eyes? maybe its because the eyes are a gateway to someones soul. when you look into someones eyes you can tell alot about a person... how they are feeling, if something is wrong, if they are lying or telling the truth. so much can be deciphered through their eyes. every time i look into her eyes i melt, i see sincerity, i see someone that is close to my heart, someone i care about and someone who overall enjoys life, has no regrets and lives each say to the fullest, i see no fault, i see perfection.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Gazing Upon Beauty
"I was staring at the midnight sky
Star gazing
I realized life and space is really
Amazing
overall breathless with universal
Devastation
Tonight it’s a simply sky
But it will keep changing
Letting my mind grow beyond further horizons
Looking at constellations from Virgo to Orion
Shooting stars and burning galaxies
This universe isn’t filled with fallacies
It’s filled with nitrogen and hydrogen gas
Expanding it is, but how long will it last
We love to stare at it endlessly
But do we really appreciate its beauty"
The past couple have nights have been some of the best i have had in a while. if you didnt know the Orion meteor shower has shown its self in full force and will until the 27th of October. The reason it has been so great was the presence of beauty that has surrounded me the past couple of nights. Gazing at stars is so relaxing and when you add blankets, great friends, good conversation and especially the one you care about just equals a great night and one you cant not enjoy. when laying there i look up and see a beautiful sky full of endless wonder, i look to my left and see beauty in the one that i care about. watching the meteor shower the past couple of nights has really put things into perspective for me. we are just one small planet in a sky full of trillions of others, it also makes me thankful that i was put on this planet and not some single celled organizm on a plant far far away.
Star gazing
I realized life and space is really
Amazing
overall breathless with universal
Devastation
Tonight it’s a simply sky
But it will keep changing
Letting my mind grow beyond further horizons
Looking at constellations from Virgo to Orion
Shooting stars and burning galaxies
This universe isn’t filled with fallacies
It’s filled with nitrogen and hydrogen gas
Expanding it is, but how long will it last
We love to stare at it endlessly
But do we really appreciate its beauty"
The past couple have nights have been some of the best i have had in a while. if you didnt know the Orion meteor shower has shown its self in full force and will until the 27th of October. The reason it has been so great was the presence of beauty that has surrounded me the past couple of nights. Gazing at stars is so relaxing and when you add blankets, great friends, good conversation and especially the one you care about just equals a great night and one you cant not enjoy. when laying there i look up and see a beautiful sky full of endless wonder, i look to my left and see beauty in the one that i care about. watching the meteor shower the past couple of nights has really put things into perspective for me. we are just one small planet in a sky full of trillions of others, it also makes me thankful that i was put on this planet and not some single celled organizm on a plant far far away.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Disappointment
"Tell me, did I disappoint you today;
Living life, going my way?
Did I crush any more of your dreams last night;
When you brought me the pizza, and I refused to take a bite?
How many times did I make you wish I was never born;
When I screamed at you to leave me alone?
How did you cope yesterday, when I told you I wanted to live;
That I had my share of take, in the middle of all this "give"?
How many times do you tell yourself you know me,
Knowing all the time, that the truth is, you don't want to see?
I wish you could know how sad I am,knocking away your dream,
Living in a different world, a dark intense realm.
But I can't get out, I'm sorry, I tried.
But the pain just stays by my side.
I wish you would believe in me, accept me and move on,
Before I can't take any more of the pain, and I'm gone."
Disappointment has been a staple in my life lately and for most of my life for that matter. It really starts with my father leaving me and my family. but disappointment can steam from a lot more then just that, it could be the girl you liked that only saw you as a friend or not getting into the college of your choice. we have all experienced these types of disappointment but when it really comes down to it, its all about how we react to it. i know that personally i dont take disappointment well. i have suffered through depression and anxiety and still do, im human it happens. but a couple years ago it got really bad and i took it a step to far. i attempted to commit suicide 3 times, and its because those attempts failed that i am writing this now. i believe that God has given me a second, third and even fourth chance at life. lately i have been experiencing more and more disappointment in my life. most of this comes from just being disappointed with myself which is never a good situation.
Living life, going my way?
Did I crush any more of your dreams last night;
When you brought me the pizza, and I refused to take a bite?
How many times did I make you wish I was never born;
When I screamed at you to leave me alone?
How did you cope yesterday, when I told you I wanted to live;
That I had my share of take, in the middle of all this "give"?
How many times do you tell yourself you know me,
Knowing all the time, that the truth is, you don't want to see?
I wish you could know how sad I am,knocking away your dream,
Living in a different world, a dark intense realm.
But I can't get out, I'm sorry, I tried.
But the pain just stays by my side.
I wish you would believe in me, accept me and move on,
Before I can't take any more of the pain, and I'm gone."
Disappointment has been a staple in my life lately and for most of my life for that matter. It really starts with my father leaving me and my family. but disappointment can steam from a lot more then just that, it could be the girl you liked that only saw you as a friend or not getting into the college of your choice. we have all experienced these types of disappointment but when it really comes down to it, its all about how we react to it. i know that personally i dont take disappointment well. i have suffered through depression and anxiety and still do, im human it happens. but a couple years ago it got really bad and i took it a step to far. i attempted to commit suicide 3 times, and its because those attempts failed that i am writing this now. i believe that God has given me a second, third and even fourth chance at life. lately i have been experiencing more and more disappointment in my life. most of this comes from just being disappointed with myself which is never a good situation.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friendship
"Another day is passing
And still there is no word
On how your life is going
And who is in your world
I pray you will consider
These words I write to you
I liked you in my life
Yet maybe now it's through
I don't want to see
our relationship come to an end
And I don't want to find
our lives standing still
We are moving towards the end
And we really ought to wait
Because God planted something special
Deep within our hearts
I know your life is hectic
You are busy all day through
My life is busy also
But I still think of you
I want to send my love
And remind you of these things
Just so you will know
You mean so much to me"
Friendship is one of the biggest and scariest roller coasters you will ever ride. It has a huge hill to climb at first and when you get to the top there is a sudden drop to a smaller hill. Much like roller coasters friendships are ups and downs with twists and turns through out and at one point its over. If being in college has taught me one thing it's to find the people that are positive and help you better yourself and vice versa. Friendship is an essential to any college student but the only way to succeed is to choose your friends wisely and sometimes that means getting rid of a few.
College as i have learned can break friendships also, being so far away from home its hard to keep up with them and has broken many of my friendships. The important thing to remember is you are never alone, someone will always have your back and be there for you.
And still there is no word
On how your life is going
And who is in your world
I pray you will consider
These words I write to you
I liked you in my life
Yet maybe now it's through
I don't want to see
our relationship come to an end
And I don't want to find
our lives standing still
We are moving towards the end
And we really ought to wait
Because God planted something special
Deep within our hearts
I know your life is hectic
You are busy all day through
My life is busy also
But I still think of you
I want to send my love
And remind you of these things
Just so you will know
You mean so much to me"
Friendship is one of the biggest and scariest roller coasters you will ever ride. It has a huge hill to climb at first and when you get to the top there is a sudden drop to a smaller hill. Much like roller coasters friendships are ups and downs with twists and turns through out and at one point its over. If being in college has taught me one thing it's to find the people that are positive and help you better yourself and vice versa. Friendship is an essential to any college student but the only way to succeed is to choose your friends wisely and sometimes that means getting rid of a few.
College as i have learned can break friendships also, being so far away from home its hard to keep up with them and has broken many of my friendships. The important thing to remember is you are never alone, someone will always have your back and be there for you.
Couldn't Sleep
"DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP;
I AM NOT THERE. I DO NOT SLEEP.
I AM A THOUSAND WINDS THAT BLOW.
I AM THE DIAMOND GLINTS IN THE SNOW.
I AM THE SUNLIGHT ON RIPENED GRAIN.
I AM THE GENTLE AUTUMN RAIN.
WHEN YOU AWAKEN IN THE MORNING'S HUSH
I AM THE SWIFT UPLIFTING RUSH
OF QUIET BIRDS IN CIRCLED FLIGHT.
I AM THE SOFT STARS THAT SHINE AT NIGHT.
DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND CRY;
I AM NOT HERE. I DID NOT DIE."
This poem has been going through my head for the past day or so and i don't really know why. I guess through all the highs and lows through my life and especially lately has just made me think a lot. life can be so shitty one day but be amazing the next or in some cases even hour to hour, the littlest thing can set it off. i feel that most of us take each day for granted (me included) but each day is a gift from God and we should live each day as our last. we all need to focus on what is important an that is to love and care for those around us because you never want someone to have a bad memory of you when you are gone. treat each person as you would want to be treated, treat each person with respect and dignity.
Being a sophomore in college has really changed my perspective on life. i realized that its time to figure out what i really want to do with my life and that its time to figure out goals to set for myself and start a plan to achieve those goals.. you also start to realize who your true friends are and you start to push out the ones that are not a positive influence in your life and who will not help you lead the life that you strive for.
I AM NOT THERE. I DO NOT SLEEP.
I AM A THOUSAND WINDS THAT BLOW.
I AM THE DIAMOND GLINTS IN THE SNOW.
I AM THE SUNLIGHT ON RIPENED GRAIN.
I AM THE GENTLE AUTUMN RAIN.
WHEN YOU AWAKEN IN THE MORNING'S HUSH
I AM THE SWIFT UPLIFTING RUSH
OF QUIET BIRDS IN CIRCLED FLIGHT.
I AM THE SOFT STARS THAT SHINE AT NIGHT.
DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND CRY;
I AM NOT HERE. I DID NOT DIE."
This poem has been going through my head for the past day or so and i don't really know why. I guess through all the highs and lows through my life and especially lately has just made me think a lot. life can be so shitty one day but be amazing the next or in some cases even hour to hour, the littlest thing can set it off. i feel that most of us take each day for granted (me included) but each day is a gift from God and we should live each day as our last. we all need to focus on what is important an that is to love and care for those around us because you never want someone to have a bad memory of you when you are gone. treat each person as you would want to be treated, treat each person with respect and dignity.
Being a sophomore in college has really changed my perspective on life. i realized that its time to figure out what i really want to do with my life and that its time to figure out goals to set for myself and start a plan to achieve those goals.. you also start to realize who your true friends are and you start to push out the ones that are not a positive influence in your life and who will not help you lead the life that you strive for.
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