Disappointment

"Tell me, did I disappoint you today;
Living life, going my way?
Did I crush any more of your dreams last night;
When you brought me the pizza, and I refused to take a bite?
How many times did I make you wish I was never born;
When I screamed at you to leave me alone?
How did you cope yesterday, when I told you I wanted to live;
That I had my share of take, in the middle of all this "give"?
How many times do you tell yourself you know me,
Knowing all the time, that the truth is, you don't want to see?
I wish you could know how sad I am,knocking away your dream,
Living in a different world, a dark intense realm.
But I can't get out, I'm sorry, I tried.
But the pain just stays by my side.
I wish you would believe in me, accept me and move on,
Before I can't take any more of the pain, and I'm gone."

Disappointment has been a staple in my life lately and for most of my life for that matter. It really starts with my father leaving me and my family. but disappointment can steam from a lot more then just that, it could be the girl you liked that only saw you as a friend or not getting into the college of your choice. we have all experienced these types of disappointment but when it really comes down to it, its all about how we react to it. i know that personally i dont take disappointment well. i have suffered through depression and anxiety and still do, im human it happens. but a couple years ago it got really bad and i took it a step to far. i attempted to commit suicide 3 times, and its because those attempts failed that i am writing this now. i believe that God has given me a second, third and even fourth chance at life. lately i have been experiencing more and more disappointment in my life. most of this comes from just being disappointed with myself which is never a good situation.